Your portable A-Z section - not just for contacts

While reading Build an effective time-management system by Laura Stack, I had an aha when I read the following:

You can also use [...] A-Z tabs to track communications and lists. [...] Write the name of each person with whom you communicate frequently at the top: subordinates who report to you, key coworkers, clients, your boss, spouse, children, and so on. As you think of things you need to discuss [...] simply turn to that person's log, filed behind the first letter in the person's name, and make a note.

Those familiar with David Allen's Getting Things Done methodology will recognize this as his agenda idea. Allen recommends GTD practitioners keep separate lists for people we "work" with (including spouses and children), and for regular meetings.

My "aha" came when I realized a few things about agendas:

• I had been thinking of the A-Z section as useful solely for contacts.
  
• I had been using an "Agendas" tab for people/meetings, but using the A-Z section of my planner seemed cleaner. (Don't tell anyone, but I file under first names!)
  
• I could use agendas for inanimate objects that need regular work. For example, our car needs new wiper blades, but it's not a high priority, so it makes sense to leave it until the next oil change. (In this case, the agenda recipient translates to our mechanic.)

Stack continues:

Also, keep track of lists filed behind the letter of the category, such as goals, values, classes to attend, books to read, shopping, errands, gifts, chores, vacation ideas, purchases, birthdays, holidays, and special occasions.

Here, GTD-ers will recognize Allen's "checklists" notion. I realize it sounds dumb, but for me the realization that I could put these checklists in the A-Z section (rather than under tabs or in a memo section) was very helpful.


Since reading Stack's article around the beginning of the year, I'm pleased to report that using the A-Z section this way works great! The "only" trick (as usual), is forming the habit to check them at the appropriate time. As with the Next Action lists, I've found that being aware of Transitions helps.

One hitch: Allen's system has you checking your agendas once per week (during the weekly review), and having them spread through the A-Z is an issue. So far it's not been a problem, but that may be a result of my being thoughtful about when something goes on an agenda vs. a next action...

Any feedback or stories are welcome!


Notes

• Happy Father's Day to my fellow dads out there.
  
• Stack reminds us to put a "Reward if found" sticker in our paper planner. It's not the same has having a regular backup (possible with electronic devices), but at least it's something! And I do like the idea of assuming the person finding it would be honest...
  

Combining a "Really Useful Attitude" + smiling = pleasant surprises!

I'd like to pass along something I've been trying out that's been surprisingly helpful in dealing with others. It's quite simple: I've combined Nicholas Boothman's idea of a Really Useful Attitude (from the book How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less [1]) with smiling when I approach someone new. This approach (RUA+Smile) has resulted in amazingly better interactions with people, especially folks with "problems."

Briefly, here's how it works: First, before an encounter with someone I establish the useful attitude I want to bring to it. I usually pick two, such as curious and needing help. Then I put a smile on my face and jump right in.

Here's an example: Recently I took a family trip to Colorado to visit friends and, because air travel is not one of my favorite activities [2], I wanted to avoid my typical anxiety about delays, problems, etc. Usually I'd go in expecting problems, but this time around I tried out the RUA+Smile approach. Before checking in at the ticket counter I put on an attitude of compassion (for the overworked employee) and gratitude (for the privilege of being able to fly), fired up my smile, and waited my turn. The woman who helped us was clearly having a bad morning, and wasn't quite uncooperative with the ticketing and luggage. However, we got through it, brought the bags to the big X-ray machine, and learned that only three of the four had been checked; the fourth was missing its tag.

OK, so I went back to the desk where the same person stated (somewhat aggressively) that I had only asked for three bags to be checked. I recalled differently, and normally would have argued with her to show that I was right and the fault was hers. However, I instead told her I thought it must be hard for airline employees these days with pension troubles, skyrocketing fuel costs, and general financial insecurities. Boy did she agree! Among these and other problems, she said she's manning the desk and training her (lower-paid) replacement whom she's loosing her job to. Ugh! I expressed my sympathy (trying to place myself in her shoes), all the while getting the final bag checked.


This is a small example, but I've had a number of other situations come up like this, and the RUA+Smile approach has helped in them all, especially with low-pay, high-stress jobs like customer service. Keep in mind that I'm really trying to think of the other person, not just think "How can I act to get what I want?" But you'd be surprised how often you can make things go more smoothly when you adopt one of these attitudes before interacting with someone. From page 41: Really Useful Attitudes:

• Warm
  
• Enthusiastic
  
• Confident
  
• Supportive
  
• Relaxed
  
• Obliging
  
• Curious
  
• Resourceful
  
• Comfortable
  
• Helpful
  
• Engaging
  
• Laid back
  
• Patient
  
• Welcoming
  
• Cheery
  
• Interested
  

In contrast, consider these Really Useless Attitudes:

• Angry
  
• Sarcastic
  
• Impatient
  
• Bored
  
• Disrespectful
  
• Conceited
  
• Pessimistic
  
• Anxious
  
• Rude
  
• suspicious
  
• Vengeful
  
• Afraid
  
• Self-conscious
  
• Mocking
  
• Embarrassed
  
• Dutiful

See any you've had on before? Sadly, when I first read this, I recognized a bunch of them.

So why does this work? Here's how Boothman puts it:

Attitudes set the quality and mood of your thoughts, your tone of voice, your spoken words. Most importantly, they govern your facial and body language... Once your mind is set into a particular attitude, you have very little ongoing conscious control over the signals your body sends out.

He concludes with:

In face-to-face situations, your attitude precedes you. it is the central force in your life - it controls the quality and appearance of everything you do.

So next time you're about to interact with someone, I encourage you to try this out. And I'd love to hear any stories about your results.


References

• [1] I talk about Boothman's book in A review of "How to make people like you in 90 seconds or less", and in A geek "gets" networking: The strange magic of connecting with others.
• [2] First, I'm apparently a Highly Sensitive Person, which means I get cranky, tired, and very unhappy when exposed to changes in lighting, smells, etc. Second, I find appalling the post-911 security changes that the Bush administration has enforced. As a result, I've doubled my usual contributions to organizations the ACLU.

A GTD WorkFlow tool: The five stages on a business card cube

(In which the author serves up a light-hearted summer offering for his tactile-depraved fellow person.)

As a practitioner of David Allen's Getting Things Done methodology for personal productivity [1], I've found it useful to regularly remind myself of work transitions during the day in order to stay focused. I wrote about a number of them in Transitions: A secret ingredient to Getting Things Done?, including Leaving the house, Leaving the driveway, etc. Since then I've been giving some thought to being aware of which workflow stage I'm in, since each one requires different tools and thinking. From chapter two, Allen says:

THE CORE PROCESS I teach for mastering the art of relaxed and controlled knowledge work is a five-stage method for managing workflow. ... We (1) collect things that command our attention; (2) process what they mean and what to do about them; and (3) organize the results, which we (4) review as options for what we choose to (5) do.

To help keep the stages in mind during the day, I've been playing with an idea I got after building some of Ned Batchelder's business card cubes [2]. The breakthrough? (Prepare yourself.) I labelled each side with a stage, and turn the cube according to which one I'm doing. If I find I'm wandering (e.g., doing some email processing because the dinger distracted me), I use the cube to remind me of what I was doing.

(In case the idea isn't blindingly clear, you can see a freakishly well-composed picture on Flicker.) Like any paradigm-shattering idea, it may take a while to sink in. So don't worry if you feel confused for a few days.

Lest you think that's all there is to it, there's a deeper question:

What goes on the mysterious sixth side?

So far I've heard a few quite polarized opinions, which seem to fall into two camps: a) keep it blank, or b) put something on it. The blank contingent considers the lack of label significant, possibly representing "I'm done," "I'm getting nothing done" (and aware of/happy with it), or maybe "it's time for a break."

The second camp (the "depth via expression, rather than interpretation" crowd) has suggestions ranging from writing "Smile" on the blank side to placing cute stickers (preferably kittens) on it.


FAQ

• Q: Your text is vague - what are the steps to do this? A: 1) Make the cube. 2) Put labels on it. 3) Enjoy!
• Q: Can I color my cube? How? A: Beware - like any GTD-related tool, customization is a real rabbit hole. Avoid endless tweaking! That said, you can use a marker, or work with beautiful cards.
• Q: But how do I *use* the thing? A: There are two approaches: "Push" and "pull." In the "push," you push the cube around until you realize you're not doing anything. Then you stop. This differs from the "pull" method, in which you pull the cube towards you, reading the facing side. Alternatively, you can use it like a The Magic 8-Ball by tossing it in the air (warning: don't hit anyone), reading the side that's up (variation: down), and doing that stage.
• Q: Can I use the GTD business cube without knowing GTD? A: Yes, though it's recommended you read the book to get the full benefit. However, you may get benefit from simply constructing the cube - many do.
• Q: What else can I use the cube for? A: The cube is the ultimate in flexibility. Singly they make great gift boxes [2] (not for live pets, though); make more than one for endless hours of stacking fun.
• Q: How much does it cost? Can I pay you directly? A: The cost depends on a number of factors, including how much you have. Contact me for special group pricing. NB: I'm still waiting to hear from David Allen re: licensing.

References

• [1] You might enjoy Matt Vance's Notes from Getting Things Done to get an overview of the book.
• [2] My nearly six year old daughter loves to help make them, then use them for gift boxes - just lift the lid, and put in your favorite morsel. Shaking and smelling are encouraged prior to opening.

Living in the moment, preventing regret, and appreciating life

This week I was reminded of something a former boss shared with me regarding appreciating wonderful things in life. At the time (mid-80s) my wife and I were living in the Cocoa Beach area, and had been introduced to a tiny restaurant called George's. It was run by an elderly French chef and his Australian wife, and while the decor was average, the food was amazing, his prices were low, and he cooked and served meals with his wife's help, which provided a wonderful experience. After taking us there, my boss told me: "When you find something special like this, take advantage of it as much as possible because it will not last." He made a point to eat there rather frequently, and at the time I didn't quite get it, even when the restaurant eventually closed.

However, I've tried to keep his advice in mind and be present, which has been especially helpful as a husband and parent. In fact, it's become one tactic in my goal of fully enjoying my daughter (now 6 years old) - that of protecting against regret, as much as possible. For example, I try to spend the maximum amount of time with her, even when I'm tired or bored or sick, so that I can't later say "Boy, I wish I'd seen more of her." OK, I know I'll still say that, but at least I can have a reasonable mental answer - I did live with her as fully as possible for me at that time in my life.

What brings about this reflection is the recent closing of the L.A. Burdick cafe in Northampton, MA, the small city next to my town. Briefly, my wife took me to the place after dinner one night, treated me to some hot dark chocolate and bon bons, and my life was never the same. (Hyperbole, you ask? Don't laugh until you try it yourself [1]! And yes, I do have a Chocolate file - but not an entire drawer. Yet.) Once I was hooked, I insisted we go there at least once a month (more likely once every week or so), and so when I saw the announcement last month that it was closing I was able to "make peace" with it relatively painlessly [2]. But I was glad I'd frequented the place as much as I did!

This reminds me of the classic You don't know what you have until it's gone concept popularized by Joni Mitchell:

Don't it always seem to go
That you don't know what you've got
Till its gone
They paved paradise
And put up a parking lot

There are lots of resources for mindfulness [3], and I'm less than a beginner. But I do try to remind myself daily how fortunate I've been - in friends, family, blog readers, work, and co-workers. And yes, there is life after Burdick (suggestions very welcome)...


References

• [1] First, order some of their chocolates, and - if you're lucky enough to live near them - try their hot dark chocolate. (If not you can make something similar and delicious yourself at home; see How to Make The Ultimate Cup of Hot Chocolate.
  
• [2] Actually, since the general manager left her name on the notice, I took the opportunity to call her and talk about chocolate, the closing, and to say thank you.
  
• [3] I enjoy the writings of Thich Nhat Hanh, but I found that training can be crucial - a point George Leonard makes in his excellent book Mastery: The Keys to Success and Long-Term Fullfillment. (Instruction is one of his five keys, which include Instruction, Practice, Surrender, Intentionality, and The Edge.)
  

My Black Belt Productivity article is up, FYI

Just a quick note that the nice folks at Black Belt Productivity have published my guest article GTD: Space + awareness = *major* action, part of their Black Belts Series. I was pleased to be asked to contribute (though I've got a ways to go before I'm a black belt), and I hope you enjoy it.